How many times have you gone into a public bathroom and decided to use the big spacious handicapped stall? Especially if your Daughter says,"but I really have to go bad", and you have the other kid locked down in the double stroller. Have you ever really seen anyone in a wheelchair waiting to get in? You can see where I¹m going with this?
The Family was in Wal- Mart this weekend looking for dress shoes for the little girl. She¹s the Flower Girl in my Brother¹s Wedding and she won¹t be wearing these shoes very long or again, so I can¹t justify spending 75.00 for them. But back to the point, sorry I can¹t seem to focus on the subject at hand even in my Blog.
We found the shoes yippee (for 7.00 no less). I whispered to my husband that I had to pee. Little Miss Big Ears heard me and said she did too (Damn it). She wanted Daddy to take her (so did Mommy) but Daddy is adamantly against that for safety reasons (ask him!) So in the bathroom I go with my shadow behind me singing and dancing and touching everything. I automatically head to the handicapped stall, because being in the other stall, with her, is like being in a Phone Booth with a caffinated feral cat. I, without being too graphic, had a problem while going so I¹m in there for a while. My daughter tells me that she doesn¹t have to go, so she¹s running around the stall and I¹m saying,"Stop That! Don¹t Touch! That's Icky..NO!" Then in between my discipline statements I hear a man¹s voice. What the hell, did the janitor come in? Is someone drunk in Wal- Mart? Once I get out of the stall I see this guy standing in front of one of the other stalls with a wheelchair, and the woman he was with moaning,"I just couldn¹t wait." Needless to say he gives me a dirty look, I sheepishly apologize and quickly escorted my jabber jaws out of there "Mommy why is that man in here, this is only for girls!"
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I Was Snubbed At A Yard Sale
Yeap! Snubbed at a yard sale (of all places). All the Communities (neighborhoods, let’s be real) were having yards sales this past weekend. My Husband and I decided to go to the one in Pine Beach because it was have closest and one of the “better” areas (which amounts to snazzier junk).
Well, we went into one yard with lots of baby things and I found a small rug, and two outfits, without prices on them (I hate when they do that). When I finally figured out who was selling the items I stared her in the face and she looked at me while holding onto an empty stroller and said this is the Rolls Royce of strollers. She then processed to talk to another “customer” about the Range Rover that her Rolls Royce Stroll folds into nicely. Well while it was a pretty stroller I could give a flip about it. My Cosco Stroller works just fine for me, Thank You very much. Who in their right (or left ) mind would pay $$$$ for something that your child will probably what out of in about a year, and who will inevitable spit up on.
After standing there for a few seconds not being acknowledged I thought I don’t want to beg her to take my hard earned money and I tossed them into her Rolls Royce Stroller and walked out.
Now in my OPINION, if you can afford the Range Rover and the Rolls Royce Strollers….what the he!! are you doing having a yard sale!?!?!
Well, we went into one yard with lots of baby things and I found a small rug, and two outfits, without prices on them (I hate when they do that). When I finally figured out who was selling the items I stared her in the face and she looked at me while holding onto an empty stroller and said this is the Rolls Royce of strollers. She then processed to talk to another “customer” about the Range Rover that her Rolls Royce Stroll folds into nicely. Well while it was a pretty stroller I could give a flip about it. My Cosco Stroller works just fine for me, Thank You very much. Who in their right (or left ) mind would pay $$$$ for something that your child will probably what out of in about a year, and who will inevitable spit up on.
After standing there for a few seconds not being acknowledged I thought I don’t want to beg her to take my hard earned money and I tossed them into her Rolls Royce Stroller and walked out.
Now in my OPINION, if you can afford the Range Rover and the Rolls Royce Strollers….what the he!! are you doing having a yard sale!?!?!
Friday, May 12, 2006
What’s Next?
Wow what a crappy week. First my Husband doesn’t get that great job he interviewed for, then I have to get a stool sample from EACH one of my children (enough to fill 3 jars each) BUT worst of all Chris get voted off of A.I.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sunday, May 07, 2006
A Little Justice
So we (my Husband two Kids and I) were driving home from the Rock (that is Staten Island New York for those of you who don t know). Saturday night. It was late for us but prime party time for others.
We were just going through the Raritan toll plaza and trying to merge with traffic when two RICHARD CRANIUMS blow past us one following the other and swaying in and out of the lane as if they were dancing with each other. Just imagine those ZOOM ZOOM commercials that post in tiny print at the bottom of the TV screen: closed course professional drives do not attempt.
One of the vehicles was a royal blue poor mans sport car (I don¹t know what kind it was and I don¹t care) the one that followed was a shiny black SUV.
My Husband and I of course called them every name in the book that we could that was rated PG (a VERY difficult task) but we ended by saying: Where are the cops when you really want them. Lo-and behold we see a Shark (a police cruiser) stalking past us in the left lane. YEAH!!!! Go get the idiot. Too bad they couldn¹t catch the SUVŠOH wait a minute there goes another Shark Šand there is the shiny black SUV!!!!!!!! Well it¹s about time!!! Those two Morons most likely blow the tolls too. Well my Husband and I had a good giggle over that. We slept well that night too.
We were just going through the Raritan toll plaza and trying to merge with traffic when two RICHARD CRANIUMS blow past us one following the other and swaying in and out of the lane as if they were dancing with each other. Just imagine those ZOOM ZOOM commercials that post in tiny print at the bottom of the TV screen: closed course professional drives do not attempt.
One of the vehicles was a royal blue poor mans sport car (I don¹t know what kind it was and I don¹t care) the one that followed was a shiny black SUV.
My Husband and I of course called them every name in the book that we could that was rated PG (a VERY difficult task) but we ended by saying: Where are the cops when you really want them. Lo-and behold we see a Shark (a police cruiser) stalking past us in the left lane. YEAH!!!! Go get the idiot. Too bad they couldn¹t catch the SUVŠOH wait a minute there goes another Shark Šand there is the shiny black SUV!!!!!!!! Well it¹s about time!!! Those two Morons most likely blow the tolls too. Well my Husband and I had a good giggle over that. We slept well that night too.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
I did it the hard way
Regrets, I¹ve had a few. One recently came up and patted me on the back.
Let me take you on a journey to a time when all my parts jiggled in the right places and I thought my farts smelled like roses.
I¹ll be as vague as possible so that I won¹t embarrass myself (or anyone else).
I have a ³friend² who has a friend who I had a few lustful moments with.Now this friend of my friend had an on again off again girlfriend, so he told me,I just didn¹t know when she was on and when she was off. Eventually he dumped me and I found out that he was back with her. I was stunned, after all my youth and arrogance told me that no one could be better than me. In order to sooth my bruised ego, I badmouthed my friend¹s friend¹s girlfriend at every turn. In hindsight (and maturing wisdom) I should have been spewing my venom at my friend¹s friendŠnot his girlfriend.
A few years later my friend¹s friend and his girlfriend get marriedŠI still have no stable boyfriend therefore my loathing for them is firmly in place. Many years more, they have two children and I just start my married life. Being married must have acted like an epiphany for me (as many people told me that I seem more calm, centeredŠI¹m not that much of a bwitch anymore) and I realize that I harbored ill feelings toward someone who didn¹t deserve my hatred. As soon as I came to that realization I felt like a heel. How do I express regret to someone who doesn¹t know (as far as I know) how I felt.
Fast forward to two years ago, when I had my Son prematurely. The Wife of the friend of a friend called my Family to inquire about my Son and to see if there was anything she could do for us. Wow if I weren¹t concerned about my baby, I would really feel like a heel.
OK here we are present time (finally this story is coming to an end) I¹m very involved in the March of Dimes and the Wife of a friend of a friend offers to walk with our Family Team and help raise money. She comes over to my home (my one bedroom apartment with two kids) to plan our fund raising strategies when her youngest points out the fact that a roach is crawling around behind her MotherŠWow do I have a lot of Karma to work on. This woman is very easy going, and realistic, which makes me think that I would be forgiven for my indiscretions (either that or she¹s waiting for the right time to get me back)
Let me take you on a journey to a time when all my parts jiggled in the right places and I thought my farts smelled like roses.
I¹ll be as vague as possible so that I won¹t embarrass myself (or anyone else).
I have a ³friend² who has a friend who I had a few lustful moments with.Now this friend of my friend had an on again off again girlfriend, so he told me,I just didn¹t know when she was on and when she was off. Eventually he dumped me and I found out that he was back with her. I was stunned, after all my youth and arrogance told me that no one could be better than me. In order to sooth my bruised ego, I badmouthed my friend¹s friend¹s girlfriend at every turn. In hindsight (and maturing wisdom) I should have been spewing my venom at my friend¹s friendŠnot his girlfriend.
A few years later my friend¹s friend and his girlfriend get marriedŠI still have no stable boyfriend therefore my loathing for them is firmly in place. Many years more, they have two children and I just start my married life. Being married must have acted like an epiphany for me (as many people told me that I seem more calm, centeredŠI¹m not that much of a bwitch anymore) and I realize that I harbored ill feelings toward someone who didn¹t deserve my hatred. As soon as I came to that realization I felt like a heel. How do I express regret to someone who doesn¹t know (as far as I know) how I felt.
Fast forward to two years ago, when I had my Son prematurely. The Wife of the friend of a friend called my Family to inquire about my Son and to see if there was anything she could do for us. Wow if I weren¹t concerned about my baby, I would really feel like a heel.
OK here we are present time (finally this story is coming to an end) I¹m very involved in the March of Dimes and the Wife of a friend of a friend offers to walk with our Family Team and help raise money. She comes over to my home (my one bedroom apartment with two kids) to plan our fund raising strategies when her youngest points out the fact that a roach is crawling around behind her MotherŠWow do I have a lot of Karma to work on. This woman is very easy going, and realistic, which makes me think that I would be forgiven for my indiscretions (either that or she¹s waiting for the right time to get me back)
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