Wednesday, March 08, 2006

O.K., I’m back and I’m pissed (I know it didn’t take long). I’ve always been the Black Sheep of the Family,
but now it seems like I’m the A$$ Hole too. Read on…..
But first a little back-story. My Brother was married to a Psycho. During the divorce hearings I was there to support him. I found a babysitter for my Daughter and went to court (on Staten Island) with him even while I was pregnant with my second baby. I helped him clean out the house SHE trashed, loaned him our Fax in order for him to communicate with his Lawyer (who I found for him, BTW). I bought him another one when I needed ours back (which the spoiled brat gave back to me without a cartridge, and still hasn’t given me a new one.) I even took care of my Niece’s Birthday party so that he wouldn’t have to stress about it.

Now fast forward to June 5, 2004. I go into preterm labor.
June 6, 2004 I have a 3.1 lb baby boy who is in the Nic-U
for six weeks, my Brother sees him ONCE.

Just a few weeks ago, I asked my Brother to join walkamerica with us as a Family Team. This is what he wrote:
Hi Guys I’m sorry I haven’t got back to you sooner but my life is one big blur these days even more than it’s ever been. I’m sorry I don’t want to commit to anything now with this whole mess with the Ex and wedding plans and overtime and the kids extracurricular activities etc…. I know it’s a great cause and I feel bad turning Vaughn down right now but it sounds too time consuming for me at this point in time (TOO TIME CONSUMING!) I’m only planning my life a couple of days at a time right now and Mara has to work on Sundays so if I was able to do it, it would just be me. Mara can’t afford to take any time off from work (but she took off early to go to a 40th Birthday party). I hope you’re not to disappointed but I could give you a strong maybe for next year (don’t insult me!!) or the next walkathon. Once again I’m sorry. Love you guys and I hope to see you soon.

This is what I wrote back, after many rewrites
Well Erik I have to be honest and let you know….YES I am disappointed.

Don’t mistake what I’m about to say. I know your life is stressful and chaotic,
I’ve always known that. However I feel you need to hear this from MY perspective.

The March Of Dimes gave Brian and me answers and support when we didn’t know day to day what would happen to Vaughn. They played an essential role in SAVING Vaughn’s life. Therefore this walking event is greatly personal to me. I thought perhaps you would see the walk could have been a good experience for Brittany and Ryan to learn about paying it forward. Not to mention that it would just make a great Family day out.

It’s sad to me that you are so consumed by your emotional muck that you can’t see the Forest for the Trees.

As apart of THIS Family you, of all people should know how important it is to be there for each other. I’ve done so for you and the kids. I just thought that you could be there for me this once. I’m sorry you don’t see it that way.

In a second E-mail I asked him if he could pay me the $12 difference from the fax cartridge/ Brittany Christmas gift deal we made so that I could put it toward the walkamerica donations. This is what he wrote:
Dawn I believe we settled the money issue with the apples to apples game for Brittany. If I am wrong please refresh my memory as to why I still owe you $12. I can still make a contribution though even if I don't owe you any money, but I'm afraid it won't be too much I'm one step above poverty. I can sense some animosity still over this walkathon. I don't want this to become an issue between us, we are family and I love you guys. I am sorry if your not happy with my decision but it turns out Brittany has a swim meet that day anyway (which is beside the point). This is why I can only plan my life a couple of days at a time. I can't have Brittany miss that swim meet because she is already missing two other ones. Mara is working that day and I have to coach the meet so that would only leave Ryan available (sarcasm not appreciated). I was deeply concerned for you and Vaughn when he was born and I don't think you are being fair to me (I’M NOT BEING FAIR TO HIM?). I am holding back a little bit here because I don't want to add fuel to the fire (If you don’t want to add to the fire, then don’t tell me your holding back, am I right people?). Please understand my situation and let's put this behind us. I love Vaughn very much and I am so happy the March of Dimes was there to help him and you guys and I'm not taking it all for granted. I will make you a promise to try my best to be there for the next one. My biggest problem was I didn't have the time to run around finding sponsors. So please let's get past this and go back to the way things were (Yeah where you walk all over us again…I don’t think so). Once again I'm sorry and I will see you guys soon, I hope. Love you guys

Love Erik

To add insult to injury, he told Mommy on me. She called me from his house while babysitting HIS kids and asked me about what was going on, and why did I write such a nasty E-mail? Boo-freakin- Hoo. Then she proceeded to defend him!!! Am I crazy? I honestly don't know what to see to this boy. I need opinions/advice here, except for you Tara, you must be Switzerland since you know both of us. I know I’m right; I just want you all to confirm that.

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